End of Life and Funeral Planning

A cause worth your consideration: Sister Yengo's Children

Guest editor: S. Lamb

People tend to think about charitable giving this time of year. If you are thinking about making a charitable gift, an organization called Sister Yengo's Children is worth your consideration.

The small, sub-Saharan nation of Republic of Congo has been ravaged by years of civil war, appalling poverty, and disease. While the country is now at peace, the threat of war persists. Medical facilities are nearly nonexistent. In a country of scarce basic necessities, little regard is given to individuals with disabilities, or to the growing number of orphaned children. This is where Sister Brigitte Yengo found her calling.

Sister Yengo, with 3 other sisters from the Sisters of Notre Dame du Rosary and several volunteers, provides a safe haven for more than 50 orphaned children and a number of adults stricken with polio and diseases long eradicated from the Western world.  Sister Yengo's Children, a 501(c)3 charitable organization, works with Sister Yengo to provide the care these individuals need.

A small gift can make a big difference in a place like Congo. Please consider making a donation this Christmas season to Sister Yengo's Children.  To learn more about the work of the mission, review the website.

News update: Because of her work, Sister Yengo was invited to accompany the official Republic of Congo Special Olympics delegation to Shanghai, where the athletes from took home the country's first Special Olympics gold medal.

Full disclosure: Richard Lamb serves as the President of Sister Yengo's Children, Inc., an Illinois 501(c)3 charitable organization.

Looking to buy American? We can help.

These days, it is nearly impossible to buy anything that does not come with a "Made in China" sticker on the bottom. Overseas manufacturing is a common practice now in nearly all industries, and casket and cremation urn makers have followed suit. While we carry urns that are made all over the world, we have now made it easier for the families we serve to identify those that are made in the United States. Many of these urns are handmade, displaying craftsmanship and attention to detail that can be hard to find. We will continue to seek out artisans like these and bring their work to you. View our American urns.

We are not leaving pet owners out. For those who are seeking American-made pet memorials, we have created a collection of urns and memory boxes crafted in the U.S. View our American pet memorials.

Choosing a Cremation Urn

Cremation is becoming increasingly common. It is often less expensive than traditional burial, and it uses fewer resources. Often, there is no embalming, so the chemicals used to preserve the body for a traditional viewing are not required. If the family opts not to have a viewing, there is usually no casket. The funeral home or crematory will return the cremated remains in a temporary container. The family then has a few choices:

• Bury or scatter the remains immediately;
• Select keepsake urns and divide the ashes among several family members and friends;
• Select a single permanent urn for the cremated remains, and either keep or bury the ashes. For Catholics, burial in consecrated ground is the sanctioned practice.

Families that opt to purchase an urn face several choices at their local funeral, and thousands of choices online. Here are some tips on making the right decision.

Take your time.
Unlike burial, where the choice of a casket is an urgent matter, cremation allows the family time to grieve and reflect before selecting a permanent urn. It also makes comparison shopping easier, with less time pressure.

Remember the loved one's values and personality.
Did he or she enjoy the outdoors? Golf? Was the loved one an artist, a member of the military, or a person of faith? The Internet allows consumers to find just the right urn that honors a loved one's unique character. There are biodegradable urns for environmentalists, American-made urns for those who took pride in their country, and even urns made of lead crystal.

Price and value.
Some select cremation based on its price relative to burial. As there are urns to suit all personalities, there are urns to fit all budgets. When comparison shopping, beware of the deal that is too good to be true. Look for providers who are members of organizations like the Better Business Bureau, and don't be afraid to pick up the telephone and ask questions. This is an important decision, and you deserve exceptional service.

Coping with loss during the holidays

The holidays are a time of stress for many, and they can be particularly difficult for people who have experienced loss during the year. The Neal Center for Griefwork and Healing has some advice on dealing with the holiday season.
 

Grief and loss resources for the week

If you have not yet viewed The Undertaking, part of the PBS Frontline series, it is now available for online viewing. The program follows author and funeral director Thomas Lynch as he provides "rare, behind-the-scenes access" to his family's funeral home.

The Light Beyond is offering "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep," a downloadable e-book of readings, poems, and meditations on grief and loss, for $19.95. The site contains a number of free articles and e-cards.

Real wood pet caskets

We take pride in offering memorials that are crafted by hand from natural materials. We have found a craftsman who uses fashions pet caskets out of real oak and pine, using dovetail construction. Most of the pet caskets you see online are made from plastic and other synthetics. A few even resemble take-out containers - hardly a suitable resting place for a cherished pet.

Articles of interest - grief and loss

Links for this week:

Grandparents' Grief: Who Is Listening?
By Mary Lou Reed
From the Association for Death Education and Counseling

"If a grandparent/grandchild relationship is shattered by death, grandparents lose more than a cherished grandchild—they suffer a dual loss—simultaneously needing to mourn the death of their grandchild, while also grieving for their adult child’s suffering. A grandchild’s death seems perverse, absurd and totally unnatural; it defies the natural order. Grandparents expect to predecease their children, and certainly, their grandchildren. But, who is listening?"

Download the article as PDF

Last Acts
A project of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation
Companion site to the media project. Includes the report "Means to a Better End."

NY Daily News on eco-friendly funerals

Eco-friendly funerals, biodegradable caskets all the rage

A brief overview of green funeral and cremation practices.

Pet loss counseling

According to Beth Cook, a licensed social worker, "whether your pet has four legs or two wings, meows or whinnies, you  know that your companion has been steadfast and loyal to you. If you are contemplating the decision of having to end his suffering or have  lost her to a sudden or slow death, you know the world may not be very patient with or understanding of your grief."

Beth Cook offers pet loss counseling in the Chicago area to families who have lost pets. Her site includes a pet loss bibliography.

Free book on explaining pet loss to children: We have a few complimentary copies of A Special Place for Charlee left.  After those are gone, you may order one for a nominal shipping fee.

Saving memories of your favorite feline

We aren't leaving cat owners out when it comes to memorials that match a pet's personality. We have just begun to offer cat memory boxes inspired by the masterworks of the 20th Century. These wood boxes, which work equally well as memory boxes or urns, feature art tiles based on the works on Chagall, Rousseau, and Van Gogh.

View the full collection of cat memory boxes